Need advice from someone who has watched a loved one suffer and die of colon cancer.

I watched both my grandparents die from cancer, one from Cancer of Unkown Origin and the other from Bile Duct Cancer. If I had had the ability to be with them every moment I would have, but I do have to warn you it is really hard towards the end. Of course everyone is different, but with my grandparents, they both wasted away, it was a lot of in and out of the hospital and coaxing to eat just a bite. There can be incontinence and the inability to get out of bed. With both we had to get a round the clock aide and my grandfather had hospice at the end. It is devastating to see people you love with your whole heart suffer so much. But I can honestly say I wouldn't trade all the time I got to spend with them towards the end. I would fly in and talk to them, read to them, buy expensive food from the gourmet section and tempt them to eat.

You can read a clinical list of things you will see as the cancer speards and the end is near: http://cancerhelp.cancerresearchuk.org/coping-with-cancer/dying/what-happens-in-the-final-days-of-life

I would make sure you know all of your mother's wishes before she gets to weak to tell you, I would also look into hospice with her approval (there are a lot of options and you should both be comfortable with the end decision).

I hope I have been helpful, feel free to message me with any questions. I know that whatever decision you make it will be with your heart and the heart very rarely steers us wrong.

Hi Txmellisa,
I am a cancer survivor, have stage 4 liver cancer which is untreatable, but I have the faith and strength to remain positive, being with your mother is important, to have that support is a great deal of good for her, Ck has some great points, my mom died in 1980 from cancer and I was 1000 miles away, luckily I got up there to see her before she passed, stay strong and comfort her , she needs you so i say stay and be there for her...
Prayers of love
Frederick
PS: Alittle poem

Woke up this morning with something to say,
Praying for all to have a beautiful day,
For to find the support I have on here,
My feelings of happiness I wish to share...

I wonder why I can't share all with you,
But somethings are to internal this is true...
I wonder at the magic in some on here,
Who share there feelings, to show they care...

We all have our battles and we all will fight,
Fight this cancer right thru the night,
I have been blessed this I know,
For my cancer is shrinking, my feelings do flow..

Flow they will like a river or stream,
For all who fight you know what I mean...
I am still frighten for some things can't change,
For my liver is damaged beyond reproducing its range..

So my prayers are now for my liver to stay strong,
I pray everyday for it not to go wrong,
Funny how that hit me today,
Was just a feeling that came this way..

Well Happy Tueday my family on here
For this is my way to help and share,
So remember all what I always say,
Keep that head held high thru out the day....

Hugs
Frederick The Wandering Poet

I watched my sister die of cervical cancer in 2004. I was not able to be with her but a few days in the end. I lived 5 hours away. I got a call that she didn't have much time left. I went to be with her on a Tuesday & she died the next day. I wish I had spent more time with her or at least called her on the phone more. I just didn't know what to say to her. It was such a difficult time. I still miss her every day.

I wish all the best for your Mom. Prayers for you both.

Im so sorry that your Mother is facing this battle and my one wish (I would give my life) is if a cure could be found. My Mom passed away Dec 2011 from colorectal cancer and from diagnosis to death, it was about four years. She never wanted to talk about her illness in any other sense than her defeating it so I'm not sure how your mother is. I think the best approach is openly and honestly but some people cannot face the reality of impending death and I don't blame them. I sure pray that your mother can fight and overcome but let's just look at the literature for a sec. In it says that most people live 5 years or less depending on the stage and if it's spread to other areas like lymph nodes. I think the best thing is to spend as much time with her... Quality time because who knows if it's 6 months or years. I wish I would have been aware and spent more face time with my mom. If I could turn back time I would have taken her out more and hung out with her. We spoke a lot on the phone, but in the end, it came so fast I couldn't really say a proper goodbye since she was medicated and in and out of coherent state. My mom never complained of pain until the final couple weeks of her life. She did say she felt uncomfortable because she had a colostomy bag. My mom took chemo for the years she
could but stopped about a few months before she passed as dr's said it was inevitable. Good luck and god bless you and her and please use this time to enjoy her and leave with good solid memories.

Hi txmelissa. My uncle died of colon cancer two years ago, and it was very hard to watch him suffer. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this with your mother, and I think my best advice would be just to be there for her as much as you can. It was hard for me to be around him once he started to lose a lot of weight, but if I could go back again, I wouldn't let that fear stop me. I've had other family members diagnosed with cancer since then, and I've started to do more research on how to cope. If you're interested, http://onlineceucredit.com/edu/social-work-ceus-ccp has some great advice. One of the tiny miracles in all of this was that my father and he connected in a way that they hadn't for years. They relieved old memories, and laughed and joked. Enjoy the good times too! My thoughts will be with you and your mother.

Just had a colonoscopy, dr told me I need surgery ASAP..im scared

Don't be afraid. Stress/anxiety works against your immune system. Just because you need surgery doesn't mean you have cancer. And if you do have cancer, doesn't mean the end of the world. Lots of people make a full recovery. I had stage 3 cancer & I'm still here.

Keep us posted. Hope you have a quick recovery from your surgery.

Good Morning Everyone

May God, watch over you all. I borrowed a Awesome Book from my Library and I wanted to share it with everyone - it is by - Kathy Freston - Veganist - Lose Weight, Get Healthy, Change the World. It has alot of stories of People Surviving Cancer. I knew what you Eat can effect our Bodies, but not as much as the Book say's it does! It was an Eye Opener for Me! Enjoy! A friend name Caffeine2 from support groups.com. Plus, Dr. Mark Hyman and Dr. Furhman is a good site to get on.

Hello - Today my best friend / boyfriend was told he has a tumor in his intestine and needs to get it cut out and also a few feet of the intestine out then will be starting chemo.

I want to be there and support him but not overdo it - this is just so hard to face its real, he just turned 22 last month. I'll be 25 soon and it seems like it shouldn’t be happening it’s just too soon.

trying to keep positive for him, he is doing pretty good so far but this is just the beginning of this journey for us. last night while he was drinking the stuff to get the colonoscopy he had done earlier today we talked on the phone and joked about the bathroom runs and different thing. They thought it was crohns, we wish it was.

We were living together but he lost jobs and I’m moving back with family next month. Luckily they dont live far from him and I will be there for every appointment I can.

At first when he told me he had the cancer (about 5 hours ago) I didn’t want to believe it, just want to stay focused to give him strength but not overdo it as a worry wad <: ) how can we not worry, just want to be there and help him through this.

it helped reading these posts and typing this out

..i did joke with him saying time needs to go faster so i can leave work and smother him with love